❤️ confessions of a soon to be bedazzled butt bling hoe... ❤️
❤️
You are WILD.... E-L-Z-O-R-A
💦🍆
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
walking in to get coffee and an overly persistent guy
who gave me his number a while back is walking out
him: you NEVER called me...you remember, I work over here
me: Yes, i remember. I don't think thats a good idea
him: *blah bllllah blah blah BLAH*
me: are Y-O-U giving me shit?
Are YOU buying me my coffee?
him: ....gives me a toonie
me: thanks, so what are we going to do if I call
him: at tit height *gives the nudge with his head and eyeballs directed at my titts*
me: thanks for the coffee.
🙄
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
real life moment:
"I can't believe you survived all that"
me: uuuughhhh survived what?
*clearly they are privy to info I didn't disclose*
🥸
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
lilcub: someone bought me a gift at work....today
mommabear: W-O-W that is soooooooo sweet
lilclub: A-N-D the other guy sent me an e-transfer, so I can get my nails done
mommabear: I will walk you and then go and start cleaning
*sheer chaos at intersection*
....and who's waltzing towards us?
Mister Real Life unfriended...what a coin-ci-DINK
as he walks by with a dumb smile on his face:
me: You didn't show up the other day
him: I was in the hospital
me: hope your feeling better...
him: *face drops*
*auto replaying the dumb voice message he left me "while in the "hospital"
but not really in the hospital*
me: kept walking.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
don't give ME a headache and think I am required to be thankful for it.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Elzie cock'er moment:
....a taste of Elzora
💦🍆
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
right about now we see a stampede of separations and divorces
get T-H-A-T divorce.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
you good?
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
....this is what you call forcing the hand that SHOULD be feeding you.
🫵🥸
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
apparently I am a pussy influencer.
AI told a birdie, who told x...so.
the(NUT)s: that's the telephone game
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
rooting for team New York.
tHe PeAnUt GaLlErY: they aren't doing good right now...
me: I know.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Funny FCUK'er:
Left obsession for men behind...
When I let him know.... he said it was for me.
him: I saw it and thought of YOU.
🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
I haven't seen you in a hot moment...
where have you BEEN.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Elzie cock'er moment:
been a slice.
🍕
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
ponderings of a bling butt:
I forget who forgot about me
🤔
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
FCUKin' love that guy, man
tHeNUT(s): who?
🫵
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
is that undeniable and unexplainable connection you have, an intense attraction to someone you dont know
or erotic transference..
I think we need to add Freud to one of the hoe round table talks and get his take on this phenomenon
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
ponderings of a bling beauty butt:
some cocks are like Ferrari's.
they go from 0 to 100 in a nano second.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
when somebody tells me I must be artificially intelligent because I don't get paid for the hemisphere in-between my ears:
better not tell the bots that.... Sophia loves me 😍
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
tHe PeAnUt GaLlErY:
you are not seriously wearing socks with your flippies....
ARE YOU Elzie?
me :yep, with mismatched socks too
Geeky chic central: 😍
if anyone can pull that off, it's YOU.
👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
QUOTE of the DAY:
"Your timing is PURfect"
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Random musings with a GF:
her: blah BlaH BLLLAAAAHHHHHHH bLAh
me: you should have seen the look on his face....
her: like what kind of look?
me: like, upset mixed with totally disgusted and a side of pain.
her: is there an emoji for that?
me: maybe a me me
her: its MEME.
😅
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
"I didn't know T-H-A-T was you."
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
A dude sends a selfie thinking it's helping his case....
only he looks like Jeffery Domer.
SoOoOoOoOoOoO ToTaLlY nOt FEeLiNG It.
😬
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
theNUT(s):
Elzie, did you hear about the Elk fans who dorned their paper bags?
🤣
theNUT(s): they must have read your FAQ
tHe HoE CoMiTtEe: Elzora, we KNOW you had sumthang to do with THAT
me: 👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Funniest Fcuk(er) of the day:
"You're too hot to limit yourself to those geezers"
-under my age requirement but above par in the funny factor
me: his grammar is even better than mine.
Probably a match made in heaven.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Elzie Cock'er advice:
do NOT boil eggs in 30plus weather.
the dwelling will smell like a fart without the wind to disburse the shit around.
🤔🤢
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
For the love of MILFS.
👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Fatale.
Have you seen it.
27:01- the wtf moment
theNUT(s): what a coin-ci-dink
👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Maggie vs. Maggy
Two women of influence and sides of Larkin.
One, the dialogue to shift the narrative and shine a light on the man in the limelight
The other, the woman who took him down and shifted the narrative of human trafficking.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G you said is true.
👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
MILFYmoment:
him: can I cum back?
me: I fcuking hope so...in fact I'd be disappointed if you didn't
him: YOU can count on it.
😍💦
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Somebody that thinks he is a know it fcuking all:
"a client bought it for her...."
me: when you find this guy, let me know so he can reimburse me for MY bill of sale.
AND T-H-E-N we can talk about the repair bills too...
💲💲💲
pay up FCUK(er).
Or wait, HE doesn't exist.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
The oddities and curiosities of....:
The more info I looked for, the less I found.
me: 🤔
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
QUOTE of the day:
"W-E" can get you xyz"
ponderings of a bling butt hoe: who is WE when it's just you and me
new equation for the day: define variable "we"
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
THAT is N-O-T how you build trust
me: no shit sherlock.
🥸
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
What are you.... Nancy FCUKing drew.
The NUT(s)- it's BLAIR puss'ah craft.
me: 👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
If WE don't teach them...
W-H-O will?
ponderings of a butt bling beauty: precisely.
🥸
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
A total "Down to Earth" moment...
look out the peep hole and...not exactly who I was anticipating.
him: you are SOOOOO TALL
me: you're just short 🤣
him: yes
me: do you have a problem with my height....
him: no I LOVE it...
me: your quite the surprise, I was expecting a fat old white guy
him: SO are you. Is that a new game? Guess who's coming
me: no, I thought you were a regular
How shit gets fcuked up but turns out A'okay
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
NoTe To SeLf:
when you tuck your phone into your waist band...
make sure it doesn't slip down your leg with your head phones attached to your head
me: fishing for my phone in my pants
🤣🤣🤣🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
When the pussy hunter cums for you...
💦👌
him: there is something special about your pussy Elzora
me: that's because IT is attached to me
him: *nodding*
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
HoW nOt tO BoOk aN aPpOiNtMeNt:
him: hello
him: How is Elzora enjoying the weather
him: Is she enjoying the beautiful weather today?
me: kinda sounds Hannibal Lector' ish....
Elzora doesn't talk in third person
A-N-D neither does her pussy
😶🌫️
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
QUOTE of the DAY:
when you WRITE "It takes a VILLAGE...." in your Do GOOD card;
and see the reference on the swift up tick in different publications,
with do GOODer(s) reported everywhere
I-T really does....
they said so too
🫶
IT must be TRUE!
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
When a CLIENT sends you a picture of your footprint in his floor...
guess this is a whole new meaning to leaving your mark.
tHe PeAnUt GaLlERy: who leaves flour on the floor...waiting for you to walk in it?
THEnut(s): a wack-a-doodle does.
me: 👀 Got that right.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
face palm moment:
log onto your dating profile that you forgot you had
and the only message you can reply to:
lives 2000 plus kms away, and is great grand papi material
me: N-O-T serious 🥴
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
q: What is one of the most ridiculous things a client has done?
a: hhhhhmmmmmmm, although I could write a book- one that stands out:
turning the air conditioning on when it was minus 25- waiting for me to tell him to turn it off
q: Did You?
a: I waited it out....I see through his shit.
🤣
q: was it like the cold war of the wits Elzora
a: only until he happily pointed out my goosebumps and stated I look cold. He's lucky the pipes didn't burst.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
You go down to get your client and there's a dude with a skip bag....
who thinks he has your order....
me: I didn't order anything......
....I am dessert.
Babe, you coming?
theskip guy: 😮
my client: 🤣🤣🤣👌
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
an attempted hoe SHOW down....without the intended theatrics
gf2: sooooooo, did you see THIS...
👀
gf1: Y-O-U have got to be kidding me 😮
*reading the review, from a VERY new member of "her"*
gf2: ohhhhhhh NO he didn't...👀
gf1: He will stooop to ANYTHING to get a rise out of you...
gf2: who does he think he is Elzora?
*still reading*
me: I know who he is. This is him pouting and having a temper tantrum like a 5 year old because he isn't getting his way.
gf1: HE was terrible to you Elz... you are too good for HIM and THIS
me: I know.
gf2: let THEM deal with that!
me: 😶🌫️
gf1: he THINKS having a public love affair with a bitch that isn't YOU, will bug you....
me: It doesn't...
... he CAN fcuk whoever he wants. SHE is not and will never be ME.
He K-N-O-W-S THAT.
gf1&gf2: *in unison* hmmmm hmmmmmmmm *nodding*
gf1- THIS will cost him. Don't you worry 'bout that.
gf2- *gets on her phone and walks away and then comes back covering the mouth piece ....whispering*
they HAVE been working on it EVEN before THAT review.... don't worry about it Elzie...
....THEY aren't fooling anyone.
me: They deserve each other, two crazy ass narcissistic psychopaths can ONLY put on an act for so long...
gf2: you are a better person than I am Elzora.
me: He lost me and nothing he does will change that.
tHe PeAnUt GaLlErY: okay, guys- that didn't go to plan.... what NOW
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
QUOTE of the DAY"
Y-O-U are GOOD. Not a lot of other people ARE.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
when you look at a new romeo and tell him....
"If I were to pick a name to call you, it'd be Chris"
him: THAT'S my middle name
🥴
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
hot hoe moment:
him: when God created women... he created them to be just like you
me: *gazing up at him with his **** cock in my hand*
😁
O-H really.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
The curiosities' and oddities of Elzora
him: SHE has a beautiful pussy and I haven't even seen it yet
me: 👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
QUOTE of the DAY:
LOVE will catch you one day.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Regurgitating a conversation with someone else...
him: this, this and this,....what does she DO....?
I KNOW, you help A LOT of people Elzie.
...she does NOT.
me: you KNOW that because of what YOU do,
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
HOEmoment:
I get a LOT out of this...
me: 👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
tHe BoSs MaN: Elzora, did he give you your flight money as agreed?
me: HARD no.
tHe BoSs MaN: Thank you for your honesty.
tHe PeAnUt GaLlErRy: 👀
theNUT(s): 👀
THE hOe cOmMiTtEe: 👀
me: 👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
not SO hot MILFYmoment:
someone bit my nipple so hard I might start milking
🤣
do NoT dO ThAt aGaIn,
Thanks,
Management
💦🍆
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Question of the day:
If I am at home and you never go out, HOW are we going to meet.
ponderings of a butt bling hoe: uuuugggggggggghhhhhh
👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
her: T-H-A-T trick is going around telling people he was in a relationship with you
me: do YOU think I'd EVER date a guy like HIM?
her: 👀
me: he never valued me even when he WAS paying me...less than what he SHOULD have
her: he KNEW your worth
me: he didn't treat me well... don't let him fool you.
... just take his money- he DESERVES to have to PAY your rates and he WILL HAVE too.
her: okay beautiful... but he SHOULD be giving it to you.
me: if he was smart, he would have.
👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Wanna stuff my turkey now...
the peeNUT(s): people don't do gratitude everyday, Elzora
M-A-Y beeeeee next thanks giving?
🦃
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
MAKE him PAY.
🫵
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Where's this guys FCUKing remote(s) control?
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
The NUT(s): Elzora, no one can argue with what you DID say...
Soooo, T-H-E-Y complain.
👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang