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❤️ confessions of a soon to be bedazzled butt bling hoe... ❤️

❤️

her: is your license okay?

ponderings of bling beauty butt: HOW would she know I was at the registry?

theNUT(s): does that bitch have your info

👀

tHePeAnUtGaLlErY: she is his parrot.

THEyaYAyaaaaaa's: she paid CASH.

them(m): 🫵

TheEyEs: 🧐

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

You LUCKY F-C-U-K

🍀

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

MILFmoment:

I hope your cock pulses...

I M-E-A-N throbs when ever you think about me.

👀

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

theEYE(s): W-H-A-T is SHE doing....

thePEEnut(s): I think she's.......

uuugggghhhh

She's doin IT....

I mean ....FCUK-

HIM

She's doing H-I-M-M-M-M-M

😮

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

Confessions of a bling butt hoe: apparently I'm in my prime.

....S-e-x-U-ally 👀

The Elzora fcukmaster to the Cum lords....

☝️

 I had a epiphany, I mean a dick-phany...

THE only time in my life men and I have ever been on the same level 

is in the bedroom.

I call it dickbrain.

🤷‍♀️

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

randomness at it's finest:

FCUK much?

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

HOThoemoment:

ooooohhhhhhh YEAH

I'm your fcuk puppet baeeeee.....B

🤣

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

total FCUKbrain moment:

the CUMlords: E-L-Z-O-R-A were you listening....

me:   Ugggggghhhhhhhhh.....

(trying to ponder sum thang)

me: uuuggggghhhhhhhhh

theCUMlords: SPIT it out already

ALLofUS: 🤣

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

girlfriend: I dunno how you do it...

I MAKE them M-A-K-E me CUM...

ALL over their....

girlfriend: 💦 ok O-K-A-Y.

🤐

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

The public paradox:

random unknown dude in public: you have a flat ass

me: MINES bigger than YOURS....IDIOT.

*gold star moment*

hoefriend: Elzora, did you call the police

me: what are they going to do? File a butthurt? I CAN call bylaw.

hoefriend: ☝️that's harASSment

me: Literally.

🙄

ALLofTHEM: 🤣 funny, NOT funny.

the girls: Elz'ie, we don't have an ass either- he shouldn't be shaming your body

hoe8:I hate going out in public

me: things have been quieter for me, until 3 weeks ago....

EVERY TUESDAY.

it's probably the SHIFT.

OLDladyHOE: isn't that when you left the other place

👀

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

him: Elzora, your like a luxury vehicle I want to test drive.

me: vrrrroooooommmm vrrrroooooommmmmmm

💦🍆

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

him with his face inbetween my leggs:

Y-O-U make me work for IT

🧐

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

A Fleeting hobby hoe moment:

JOHN: dick deep....

"I miss you..."

me: 👀  ummmmmm Y-E-A-H, right.

(not past tense and is in my presence)

him: books your girlfriend less than a week later....

HOEfriends: he's just doing his rounds

🤣

theCUMlords: he paid your GF double 

me: he W-I-L-L pay my new rates next time

ALLofTHEM: this dick gets A-R-O-U-N-D

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

a WTFmoment:

YOU are a great piece of a woman.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

him: I can't get you out of my head:

The only place I live rent free.... 

is inbetween your EARS.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

Elzora trying to do math:

equation: determining the fcuk mileage factor.

If John saw you 5 times, at approximately 280

and you FCUK the entire time...

THEN: minus hosting fees each time at 60-100 a fcuk share

minus transportation there and back, between

time and/or

busses,

trains....

gas

energy.

but JOHN sees ONE girlfriend twice, at double your fee....for the same amount of time

WHO is making more?

🧐

theNUMBerguy(s): is this mathematical, philosophical or FCUK theory

theHOBBYists: she's great mileage.

😁

me: hold on I'm still trying to work this out

🤓

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

HOEfriends CUMittee meeting:

hoe4: have you seen asshole?

ALLtheHOES: our asshole(s) or hers?

me: 🤣

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

We recycle DICKS.... often.

me: I re use them.

them: 👀

me: They always  WANT to cum back.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

OLDMadamHOE:

Elzora, you might just need to get a room and fcuk it out.

I-T might stop if you do.

me: is this what we call a fcuk and see approach....

W-A-I-T this is RICH 🤣

reward bad behavior and make it a courtesy fcuk?

N-O-T SERIOUS.

TheCUMlords: a fcuk isn't going to get her out of his system.

me: if he wanted to FCUK, he'd book an appointment.

he's CHEAP

A-N-D 

👀

I don't even KNOW who HE I-S.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

Hoe round table talk:

me: this guy I only see AND talk to when he books...​

walked in and says: "You're stalking me"

allTheHOE(s) in unison: W-H-A-T?

👀

me: how do you even respond to THAT.

hoe06: I treat my clients with respect, but THAT there is trick territory

ALLofUS: 👀

me: I'm not even sure what to make of that.

hoe5: WHO does that?

hoe2: he's giving you your money.

🧐

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

Elzora, you are my mid life crisis.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

THAT guy, 👉 is T-H-E ONLY guy I'd ever consider

FCUKing and then figuring it out....

like modern app dating....

GF: don't do it. You will have to FCUK to figure it out if you DO.

me:🫠

Don't I   A-L-READ-Y.

👀

GF:...and you won't get a thing from him

me: 👀

GF: Y-E-S, but you get PAID now even if you can't pay your bills like we can

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

Elzora, he is NOT going to make this EZ for you.

me: I could just LEAVE.

her: HOW much is that going to COST you.

me: I  stayed when I should have just LEFT.

her: and maybe THEN you SHOULD have...

her2: we ALL saw how that went...

her: but NOW maybe you need to STAY if you think you should GO.

me: fcuked if I know, man.

🤷‍♀️

Never know if I'm cumming or going.

her2: Elz'ie, I don't know how you do it.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

I think you are an 11....

ponderings of a beauty bling butt:

I'm kind of like trash.

Sumbody elses garbage CAN b-e-e-e-e

someone elses treasure.

ALLofTHEM: E-L-Z-O-R-A 😵‍💫

me: oops, did I say THAT out loud?

the(m): you are NOT a piece of trash

me: I    K-N-O-W    THAT!

THEY obviously don't.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

my pussy is like comfort food.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

when you overhear a Johns support circle:

"Wing's and beer night"

him: THAT was ONLY suppose to be a BJ.

me: 😮👂

him4: you weren't suppose to fcuk her

him2: who's got the phone.... pass it over here

him5: there isn't wifi to connect to the app

me:🫠

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

YOU look W-A-Y better than your pictures...

me: and THEY say flattery gets you everywhere.

him: I already paid you.

😮

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

THAT guy was probably a perfect male specimen.

...if I ever did see one.

I fcuked him right stupid and didn't even close my eyes.

THEeye(s): well THAT is pussy progress.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

The elephant joke in YYC:

People don't ask how long you've been here,

....it's USUALLY how long you've been trying to leave.

How many years have you survived Calgary.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

When inspector pussy cums to visit:

him: Soooo, tell me, what's going on in your life and how have you been...

me: uuuuugggghhhh, you know......

just keeping it REAL.

him: is that a nice way of saying it's none of my business.

me: could be, depending on how you look at it.

🧐

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

Everytime that guy is NEAR me he says stupid shit

her: he NEVER does THAT to me.

me: well he DOES to me

her: I know, I heard.

👀

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

as HE is leaving.....

"I'll be thinking about YOU....."

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

The only time I want to be on my knees ....

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

TheCUMlords:

You guys REALLY need to knock it off.

SHE W-I-L-L go to a homeless shelter....

and you are going to FCUK up

all of our SHIT, if SHE does.

theEYE(s): you don't know this one. She WON'T run to him.

thePEEnutGaLlErY: go and book her and give her HER money.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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