❤️ confessions of a soon to be bedazzled butt bling hoe... ❤️
💦🍆👀👇💦👇😮👆🙏🥸🥰🤪🪶🤔😲🙊😇🤪💋💋👉👻
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HoeDUMB moment:
All of us, giving each other the eyeballs...
*I can feel the wild elephant in the room*
me: how's business going ladies?
ALLofTHEM: 👀
hoe2: it's slow Elz...
hoe3: glad I have my regs.
me: Tell me about it.
hoe5: Elz... I thought you said you wouldn't eat their babies...
me: 👀
hoe2: W-H-A-T? Since WHEN?
me: I created a PSE I call FCUKstar a couple days after I re-created my massage packages AND changed my rates back to normal....
hoe3: I saw that. Your so creative Elz'ie. The coin toss, that's fcuking funny.
hoe4: I thought it was brilliant.
hoe5: I'm doing a special....
hoe2: YOU N-E-V-E-R do specials.
hoe1: I don't notice a thing.
ALLofUS: 👀
me: I booked my first FCUKstar...and... I ate his babies. E-V-E-R-Y single last one of them... I think there might have been some geniuses in there
them: 🤣
hoe6: I don't advertise that I do because I don't like it, but I do it with some of my clients.
me: 👀 hmmmmmm.
me: ....NOT me. I made my FAQ specifically tailored to what I WOULD do and PSE wasn't one of them.
Every dick, John and Harry would contact me asking: do you do BBBJ. I stuck to my guns. AND tried to make humor of it.
But, as soon as that is off the table- most wont see me.
hoe3: when I first started I didn't do BBBJ. THEN I realized if I wasn't, they wouldn't see me either. So I charged two separate packages....
hoe3: I get up in the morning, put my lingerie on- and make 400 from home. I do everything but bare back full service.
hoe1: Did you see how low they got *so and so* doing BBBJ CIM and NOW WITH a swallow for less than a hundred?
hoe2: I left that for me and my boyfriend. You gotta have sumthang that's just yours. He has a job. THIS is mine. We made an agreement on services.
me: when I started advertising my new packages, the BBBJ marathon questionnaire started...and everyone under 35 reached out
hoe5: you know why, right? Everything you SAY you won't do pops up like a no will be a yes.
me: 🧿
hoe3: what do mean? When did you change your packages
me: March 25
hoee2: wasn't that the full moon... so that wasn't too long ago.
ALLofTHEM: 👀🤔😮👀😬👀
me: Ya. Because THEY know it's SLOW, their wallets are lighter or they wait it OUT because girls WILL open up more then their leggs if they need to pay the bills bad enough...
Anyways, every guy that contacted me was either under 35, OR wanted my basic massage and inquired about BBBJ.
hoe5: Yep. Everything for nothing or as cheap as possible. BUT, they figure you will SAY YES when it's slow if it was a NO before.
hoe3: not all of them are cheap... the economy is bad
me: Agreed, There's "good" and "bad" with anything....but a guy who pays me 280 for a 1.5 SAFE is still booking YOU as well, at 400 a pop for everything but bare full service.
hoe3: 👀 fair.
me: So, with the way I structured my new packages- if someone under 35 contacted me- I told them SURE, but ONLY massage was available, no add ons. Just to see what the response was.
hoe3: AND, did he book...
me: Nope. He went on cricket mode.
hoe4: THAT'S smart Elz.
me: Which part?
hoe4:🤔 all of it. YOU are.
me: and THEN, I figured- if ALL my inquires are about BBBJ... why NOT make a package.
ALLofTHEM: 👀
hoe5: So let me understand this, its SLOW, you HAD to restructure and adjust everything, create NEW everything- find ANOTHER location- you raised, I mean put your rates BACK to what they were before your DO GOOD became your rate...AND now your offering PSE?
me: Yep. Do you know how many times I tried raising my rates back to normal!
hoe5: YES. And E-V-E-R-Y-T-I-M-E you did, something happened that required you to HAVE to generate a lot of money as quickly as possible
me: OR, something that affected my ability to work....or location issues...and then slow season-which is a known.
hoe3: Elz'ie, I'm suprised you arent homeless right now. EVEN my rent is going to be late.
hoe4: I'm not following. If you don't feel comfortable doing ANYTHING unsafe, why offer it?
allOFthem: 👀
me: I love PSE. I am worried about safety, diseases... fluids....everything that cums with that can of worms when you're doing something that carries a risk.
SO, I priced it in a range that rules out the option hunters who are high volume.
hoe5: okay, I'm following....
me: and I created a 2 hour minimum for 1000 to counteract what SHE just said.
ALLofTHEM: holy FCUK, W-H-A-T?
me: MOST will lower their rates, start offering MORE services for the same amount and STILL always be in the red but doing MORE and then for WAY less.
hoe5: I know. Elz.
me: AND, even if PSE is NOW an option- I'm picky. AND selective.
So, I'm NOT saying no but I am saying YES to only certain people who meet MY requirements...and when you are ONLY safe and have only BEEN safe, a guy WILL book me because he is migating his risk...IF he isn't someone who does anything with everyone...he-eeeeee
hoe3: *interrupts* THEY will pay if they want sumthang bad enough
me: OR, they VALUE what I'm offering and think it's worth it WITH ME. they will.
hoe2: what about all the great guys who you priced out....
hoe4: how's that working out for ya Elz?
me: every Dick, John and Harry wants my SAFE GFE option, WITH greek
ALLofTHEM: 🤣
me: OR, they say, I don't care about cumming in your mouth- I want THIS...
ALLofTHEM: 🤣
me: BUTT, with the different service levels I created, PLUS with my SAFE GFE... and DO GOOD, I've created enough options and price points...IF they want to see ME-they WILL..
hoe4: Elz... you are REALLY good at thinking outside the box.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Quote of the DAY:
Dealers choice.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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When you watch Redeeming Love...
and Mister Dealers Choice comes to mind.
I created my coin toss, rock, paper, fcuks BEFORE I watched that.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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HOTmilfymoment:
THAT guy knows my mouth is a safe place to hide his dick...
for a little while.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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"I love your green eyes..."
through a friend, of a friend...
of an acquaintance, who is associated to "sum guy"
who got in trouble... and is now the parrot chain of command.
ponderings of a beauty blinger butt:
Is THAT all.
🤔
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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There's a shit storm blowing in....
her: I can see it.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Before you ask(ed).... I switched everything around and hid in my closet.
him: good.
me: I read the article an hour after publication 😂
him: 😂
me: the irony.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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her: go get YOUR coffee.
me: 👀
at grocery store: MY coffee on sale
😁
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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me: I think I'm just going to go to *redacted* with my helmet on....
wander around and ask random strangers:
"Dude, wheres my bike???"
him: 😂 Are you being serious?
me: Totally.
I can just picture it:
elbow pads ✔️
knee pads ✔️
wrist protectors ✔️
donut for ass ✔️
Forrest Gump ankle braces/ knee braces✔️
bubble wrap ✔️
him: what about a helmet
me: I wear that sometimes just for fun....and pretend its my dunce cap.
😂
him: not serious. Elz'ie there is NOTHING crazy about you.
me:...... Ohhhhhh and don't forget- THE training wheels.
ALLofTHEM: 🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Elzora, out in the wild...
on a platform facing another one going in opposite directions:
some dude saying hello like he knows me....
me: we haven't met...
him: no... *motioning his hand around his face* and says he can come over
both trains are arriving.
me: *assuming he's recognized me...from?* nope, I need to get on this train.
ponderings of a blinger beauty butt: Saved by the train?
theNUT(s): we are going to have to consult the peanut gallery....
me: 👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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me to my GF: I pulled out my jeans....
her: R-E-A-L-L-Y? You hate jeans.
me: ya, I don't weigh myself but can tell by how my clothes fit...
her: 😂
me: AND of course.... there's no stretch.
I could barely fcuking breathe, nevermind walk.
us: 😂
her: you got your tits back, Elz'ie
me: 😂 I can't see my toes.
us:🤣🤣🤣🤣
me: If it went to my ass, I'd be good.
her: 🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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I can always see the shift.
🧿
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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A created shit show:
me: always just waiting for the REAL reason...
"...YOU are absolutely in the right".
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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him: YOU have been FAR too polite...
🐕🦺
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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both of us walking North....after what would SEEM like a an isolated chance meeting between two STRANGERS.
her: That guys an ASSHOLE...
HE M-A-D-E me open my hand.
me: I call him asshole too.
🤔
*not REALLY knowing what she was saying...in the proper context because EVERYTHING in my world is ambiguous*
FAST forward ⏩....
rePLAY: the LOOK back.
⏪ REWIND.
FASTFORWARD ⏩
⏸️ PAUSE.
🛑F-U-L-L FCUKing STOP.
I know YOU know THAT face.
pondering of a beauty blinger butt:
BUT...
what was IN HER HAND A-S-S-H-O-L-E????
....you know, "the funny one" who was an unknown to ME, but NOT to you- who then magically blew into my world through 2 degrees of separation and then started calling me her ANGEL when she was nothing but a nightmare to deal with...and she just happens to be HER duo PARTNER at my soon to be NEW location.
signed,
the not so funny, tough one
(did I pay for her new winter tires through the bullshit tax and also her classes too in lieu of, or I mean- FOR information as well?)
Oh, and P.S- What's NOT so funny.... is the unusual INTEREST she had in one of my daughters, ASSHOLE...or is her interest, yours??
I should also say, NEITHER one of them were forth cumming with me, kind of like you.
Thanks,
the wholesome pinball hoe who COULD and SHOULD say a lot more and deserves the PAYCHECK above yours.
🎵🎧
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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theNUT(s): 💩
theEYE(s): Who's asshole?
tHePeAnUtGaLlErY: she calls everyone asshole.
me, the FLY on the WALL: THEY know who T-H-E-Y are and all this bullshit can STOP.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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If I had a beautifully manufactured ass, I'd tell YOU to kiss it.
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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When everyone is just WAITING... for IT:
me: screaming on the top of my fcuking lungs...after he approached me and grabbed my arm
him and his buddy who are unknowns to me- walking away: bLaH BLAH blah....
"Your a W-H-O-R-E"
👆
the purpose.
NOW they have everyone's attention.
her: I dealt with THAT.... for you... what's the FIRST thing he said,
"Your a whore"
her:...."HE T-O-U-C-H-E-D you"
me: Yes.
BUT they would say that even if I wasn't. HE wouldn't know THAT.
U-N-L-E-S-S what just took place WAS targeted AND the purpose.
her: I'm sorry that happened.
me: Thank you.
Tides have changed. WE A-L-L barked them away...
We are ALL tired of THIS....
A WORD to the wise, don't EVER man handle a woman in a public space and then call her a WHORE, even if she IS one....
and KEEP your hands to your FCUKING selves.... you never KNOW who the EYES are.
🧿
theEYE(s): did any MEN step in?
theNUT(s): NO.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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her: Elz'ie... what are you doing?
me: googling air horns
her: 🤣
me: what's so FUNNY?
her: you.
me: Getting LOUD, only WORKS if you get the attention of the right people who CAN do something. Never mind rape whistles.
AIR HORNS. Start buying them ladies.
Mini AIR HORNS.
ANYONE who has worked on a construction site KNOWS what an airhorn MEANS.
GET loud, blow your air horns and call ghostbusters.
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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THAT chick, she's an everyday super hero....
🙏🦾
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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THE CUM LORDS: Elzora...
me: Yes?
THE CUM LORDS:
we K-N-O-W....THAT happened...to YOU
....even when:
YOU were celibate for YEARS.....
HAD a boyfriend....even if he was a jackass and terrible to you
dated...
DIDN'T have a boyfriend....
didn't DATE...
got hit by a car and couldn't fcuk....for years...
AND even NOW, being a FCUKstar.
THAT is NOT happening because you are one of the best W-H-O-R-E-S any man could have.
W-E don't know somethings wrong when you give them the EYEBALLS and don't say anything.
me: 👀
THE CUM LORDS: JUST BE Y-O-U and DO YOU and scream bloody fcuking murder if that happens again
me: 👀 O-o-o-k-a-y.
MadamLADYhoe: and Elzora, the mini air horn is a VERY good idea
🧿
me: okay 😁
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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TheGALLERY: Elzora, when was the last time you updated your site
me: I havent updated anything for over nine months
Date: 2025-03-06
Is that YY/MM/DD
or
YY/DD/MM
me: March 06, 2025.
👀