❤️ confessions of a soon to be bedazzled butt bling hoe... ❤️
❤️
Quote of the day:
May the fourth be with you🤪
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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HOEmoment:
I have a great many of reservations for when there is a Al-generated invasion in my pussy.
🤔🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Funniest thing I read today:
a glowing review discloses a woman uses a pipe during session however initially failed to state WHAT KIND OF PIPE:
"Lol so it's a meth pipe? Man some of you guys would give a 10/10 rating for a dead corpse."
Some things are NOT better than your hand.
Just WoW.
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
We run through the alphabet and get stuck on F...
for FCUK or FCUK(ed)??
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Your pussy might be on GPS...and you don't give a flying FCUK 🤣
him: "I'm watching you", while giving me the eye hand signal.
me: 👀
Oooohhhhhhh YA-A-A-A-A-A-A?
How do you like THE view...ASSHOLE 🙊
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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A gent suggests cocktails...
me: are we going to use your cock to stir it 🤔
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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SUMguy mistakes your genuine quality traits and kindness for an extension to continue walking all over you...
me: no problem
him: thank you for your understanding
me: please send your cancellation fee when able too
him: I'm shocked.
🤔
ponderings of a philosophical hot hoe: why would having boundaries shock anyone? It would when you have crossed numerous lines and continue to...not expecting a line to be drawn.
Don't be the guy who will rise to the occassion if required but only gives the least amount, IF you can get away with it.
Be the guy who goes above and beyond regardless of who you're dealing with.
Thanks,
Management
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Whore moans have their own agenda
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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ThE PeAnUt GaLlErY:
HOW did you DO it... Elzie?
me: 👀
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Life and times of Elzora:
When someone spots you in public, bypasses ALL discretionary expectations and your like a UFO sighting...they can't stay away from
him: I almost didn't recognize you...
me: why... because I have my clothes on????
👀
me: ya... I thought that was your bald spot across the street and HERE y-o-u ARE 🙄
him: I don't THAT that personally
me: YOU SHOULD... the bald spots not the problem MAN!
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
When you go to the mall with your friend so he can buy HIMSELF a hat... "for HIS FRIEND"
🙄
me: I think you should get the Toronto Maple Leafs SO I CaN WeAr iT...
We both have pin sized heads- aSsHoLe!
*As I'm leaving...
him: thanks for ALL your help
🧐
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Hoe down Q and A:
him: Elzora, what is your spirit animal?
me: MY pussy.
😍
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Witch ever WAY(s) you want IT.
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Real life pussy struggles: out with my "guy friend"
me: I think you should buy me a slice of pizza
him: if you want pizza you need to start putting out...
🤣
ponderings of a bling butt beauty: I should get that thing fully fcuking loaded, with every topping there is...maybe a whole damn pizza if that's the case
Okay fcuk the pizza, it's Red Lobster time if thats the direction he's trying to push.
😲
*Time lapse 15 minutes and no pizza, or lobster tail*
me: okay, I'm taking off... gonna go make myself some din din
him: 😳
me: *doing the math on billable hours* your worse than a full time job man and I don't even get paid 🤣🤦
real life UN-friended.
Cost: $3.50
🤪
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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I WANT to FEEL you...
me: I- I - I just WANT....
*silent mode*
him: SPIT IT OUT...a-l-r-e-a-d-y
me: 😳
him: COMMON... just SAY IT.
me: *whispering* is that thing recording?
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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hOe CoMmITtee mEeTiNg:
ladies...L-A-D-I-E-S... can I have your attention before you leave...
One last... LADIES...
*noise*
One last thing before you go:
IT'S AN ELECTION MONTH 🥸
*Silence*
madam lady old hoe: HOLD onto your pussies- it's gonna be a bit of a rough ride, ladies
hoe5 and hoe 3 look at each other: 👀
hoe11: ...don't worry Elzies got THAT covered
hoe9: nodding
hoe3: ya she's got everyones first world problems lodged up her ass, didn't you know?
Un-numberedHOE: WHAT??
hoe7: and she thinks IT'S just the butt bling
*A bunch of untangible noise*
hoe5: ya she's good like that
hoe6: 😮
hoe9: W-H-E-R-E is SHE?
hoe1: 🧐
tHe PeAnUT GaLlErY: 👀 uUgHhHh Oh FcUk
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Quote of the day:
Botox is like duct tape...IT fixes everything 🥸🦖
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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tHe PeAnUt(s) GaLlErY:
YOU ARE FCUKing hilarious....
🤣🤣🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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QUOTE of the day:
him: can we re write THAT chapter?
ponderings of a beauty bling butt dp style: I might have to consult the hoe committee on this one- asshole
me: it depends...
WHO is the interpreter !?!!?
Who's the translator
WHO IS writing the minutes
WHERE IS IT GOING
AND for WHOM?
him: 😳
me: oh I forgot... WHAT PURPOSE does it serve?
him: you could WRITE the book, Elzie
👀
me: or I could just throw it at you?
Would you like to FCUK me before or after YOU write the wrong?
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Random musings:
him: Elzie... if you LEAVE, this entire city will cry in sirens
me: 👀
him: things CAN CHANGE, Elzie
me: whoa....😮
whoa... hold your dick, man...for WHO, me or you?
Who's expense?
🧐
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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When YOU decide,
OR want to spell it out for me-
LET me KNOW. YOU have my number.
USE it...wise guy 🤣 🧐 O-K?
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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What are you doing later?
me: hopefully choking on as many cocks as possible
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Quote of the day:
him: Elzora... You CAN do anything you want
🧐
me: whoa hold on man, lemme just go pull up my stockings... that must be the problem or wait, I'm every man's wet dream- I mean fantasy... that's IT... RIGHT?
😇
ponderings of a beauty bling butt: dreams SHOULD be LEGAL
me: that must be why they call me, tHe DrEaM mAkEr...
🙊
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
MILFmoment:
him: your tits are huge
me: 👀
him: they are purfect, more than a handful and totally natural 😮
me: I can still see my feet and don't have to tuck them into my undies...yet 🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Random musings:
It's mid afternoon. I am in a foreign area...on foot, minding my own damn business.
them: excuse me ma'am... do you know where there's a good breakfast place
🧐
me: no idea. I don't eat
them: 👀
Do you ever talk to the wildlife for any reason other than self serving purposes?
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
A fLy oN tHe WaLl:
him: nevermind them...they have a high divorce rate... you should marry a fire guy sweet heart
ponderings of a beauty bling butt: a professional divorceeee could work, it is for my girlfriend's 🥴
me: uuuuggghhhhh ya. They have a good retirement package 😂
him: or like any city worker... Their benefits are HUGE
me: ya... I think I missed that memo. I mean I guess we have the whole hose thing in common
🤹
When we arrive at our destination...
Fire trucks EVERYWHERE 🙄
me: 👀 not fcuking serious
Are you trying to set me up on a blind date man?
🤦
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
MILFsub moment:
When he throws you over his shoulder and your legs aren't dragging on the ground, has biceps the size of your thighs and a huge instant hard on...
him: I'm dominant
me: 🙊
OH YEAH? Who'da thought
me: 😅
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
MILFmoment:
Not everyone is a father but you CAN be my daddy...
them: not serious eLzOrA...🤣🤣🤣
Hold that thought...🤔
me: YEP. Totally serious: who wants to be my daddy?
😍
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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me: where's my asshole?
them: which one Elzie
me: ALL of them.
🙄
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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them: E-L-Z-O-R-A... WWWWHHAAAAATTT are YOUUUUUUUU doing?
... you're not seriously going to leave, ARE YOU?
😓
me: 👀
you'll see.
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Miss beauty bling butt:
I ONLY accept apologies in cash.
👀
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Quote of the day:
ME: good ridings matter
😲
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Quote of the day:
him: bEsT bLoW JoB oF mY LiFe
🙊
Ponderings of a beauty bling butt: got the cock'manship thing going on...
signed,
Face FCUKer
🥸
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Quote of the day:
him: show me another game...
me: 🤔
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Elzie Cock'er moment:
I live in a manufactured world
🪶
🤪
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
tHe PeAnUt gALlERy:
You sure are full of surprises, aren't ya?
me: 👀
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Quote of the day:
him: unhide it Elzora... it's a good sight
me: 👀
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
To Be A fLy oN tHe WaLl:
her: he asked me if I knew any birds...
me: 👀 a bird?
her: he's attractive and YOU can go anywhere...
me: like... a bird in a cage? One with clipped wings?
her: like YOU...you're beautiful. He's generous... Y-O-U need an international man honey...
me: 🤔
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
The curiosities of Elzora...
them1: that's O-U-R girl
them2: uuuuggggghhhhh, she's actually OUR girl...
him4: NO, she is MINE
him3: 🥸
him5: she IS actually HIS girl 👉
him8: who's?
him7: 😳
him11: who the FCUK are we even talking about...
him9: you KNOW...WHO!
***me in the scenery***
ALL of them: eyeballs
me: W-H-A-T... 🥴
him10: laughing hysterically 🤣🙊
me: 👀
Being on a need to know basis goes in a lot of different sort of ways... and so does silence, apparently?
When you KNOW, let ME know 🧐
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
A gUy WaNtS YoU tO BlOw SmOkE iN HiS FaCe
Ponderings of a beauty bling butt:
Atleast he doesn't want me to blow it up his ass
🤪
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
STAREgazer:
I KNOW... Y-O-U heard me...
...Mister 'Smith'
👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
the only pole I don't fall off of...
IS your cawk
👀
What a slippery slope 🤔
[CENTER]
rise. Y2 - Y1
Slope= ------ = --------------
run. X2 - X2
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
I CAN talk in songs too...
were YOU listening
🎶
Or wood you like me to play you like a keyboard 🎹
👀
me: 🎧
💦👇
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
ThE PeAnUt GaLlErY:
him: I think he almost shit his pants 🤣
me: oh? 🤔
😆
me: he obviously didn't like my controlled California lane change...with a watch and wait, and cars flying by 🙄
him: SEE....👉he had to go change his pants
me: if he's going to be somebodies parrot, he HAD BETTER bring diapers...next time
🤪
him: 😳 ... that was quite the MAN-O-EUvre!
me: 💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
The Tuesday job is AWOL
them: WHERE the fuck IS SHE
me: W-H-O......
MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? 🤣
👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
You are BADASS
me: THAT was with my flippies...
DON'T make me put THE stilettos on 🙊
👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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My pussy is a tourist attraction and one hoe wonders of the world...
🤣
👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
SUMbody cut her loose so she can go wild at the rode-HOE
me: I wanna go on the Ferris Wheel 😍
🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
HOEmoment:
him: can I braid your hair
me: YOU want to give ME handle bars...
🤠
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
RaNdOm MuSiNgS:
random dude tells a guy making a delivery....
"It's JUST a blow job...man"
me: Maybe if/when YOU'RE the one doing it...
EVERYONE: 🤣🤣🤣🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
MILFYmoment:
vehicle parked parallel to you, but across the street... right by Red Lobster
me: I'm dead....from laughter and almost piss my pants
IT must be FATE
🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
You CAN talk to management about that...
me:
Thanks...tips,
signed,
Management
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Are THOSE your eyes?
me: they are attached to my FCUKing head, so I would HOPE so
him: YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL EYES... I can't get into trouble for complimenting you
🤔
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
ponderings of a patient HOThoe:
what took you so LONG, I've been WAITING for you for YEARS
... everythings the same but different
🥸
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
ME...
TrYiNg To HaVe A LIFE:
Just meet me outside CITY LIMITS... everything should be FINE🤣
😅
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Just throw me a bone(r) and call me Sally...
HARRY 🙄
🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
them: Have we met?
Do YOU want to?
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
giving HIM the finger...
him: OH, you speak sign language too, huh
😮
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Do you have a problem with me FCUKing all your girlfriends?
me: No. Not at all.
If you pay them double what you give me per hour...
BUTT over stay...
...PUSH boundaries..
......and don't PAY ME what you SHOULD BE...
then your gonna HAVE TO PAY THEM because I won't see you.
😮
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
There seems to be a migration trend of women leaving YYC to go to YEG
me: the BIRDS are flying the coupe
🤔
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
THAT WAS REALLY SMART
👌
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Every time I see a big dick my pussy clenches up
her: like a dick head, or a dick... like an asshole....
...like... 🙄
all of us: 🤣🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
her: are you listening....
WHY are you ALWAYS staring up at the sky Elzie...
me: wasn't too long ago that planes weren't up there
🥸
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Classic.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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I never would have recognized you with straight hair
me: Do Y-O-U like it
😬
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
...a created delay with an out of context...
"I'll be right there"
me: 😮
Y-O-U-R my asshole...TOO?
What the actual FCUK
😬
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
face bombing SUMones face time:
them: YOU are BEAUTIFUL.
🥴OOPS, thought that was *So and SO*
me: do you have a filter on?
them: 😂 NO.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
When you type your site into google, but spell it .cim instead of .com and you still pop up
When you type it in properly:
"This site can't be reached"
😬
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
You look cute with boots on...
me: puss in boots
🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
him: did you like THAT, sweetheart
me: 😍 I think we re-arranged my TMJ, my ears are on airplane mode
and slobber came out of my nose
him: 🤣🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Beauty Bling Butt moment:
me: do you want me to tie you up?
him: no.
me: do you WANT me to blindfold YOU:
him: NOOOOO!!!!!
I like the view
.
😁
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
STOP cockBLOCKING
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Elzie Cock'er moment:
IN a NeW YoRk MiNuTe.
BBBBBbbbbbbbbbbbbaaaaaaaaaaBBBBBBbbbbbbbbbbbbYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyy!
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
It's WILD pussy season...
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Praying to my cum lords:
I'm sorry my pussay is misbehaving....
SOOOOOOOO B-A-D-L-Y
But everytime I put my ad up,
All your friends want EZ come, EZ go.
and I JUST can't HELP myself....
🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH ELZIE...
N.O.W.
me: ... l-i-k-e t-h-i-s.
👅
OR...
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
a HOE-LY FCUKmoment:
him: YOU have mastered YOUR craft.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
HOEcumittee meeting:
hoe3: Ya'all going to the stampede?
hoe8: I'm hiding in my condo
hoe13: maybe 🤔
a bunch of hoes: YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS,
hoe:10: I ordered my outfit last year 😂
Lady old hoe mad'am: Elzora, are y-o-...?
hoe2: *interrupts* Elzie's gonna dress up like a drugstore cowgirl AND...
*inaudible noise*
me: LIKE FCUK I AM... I SAW what you wore ******* it was ALL over twit
*everyone nodding*
hoe2: 😳😬 I-I-I... I'm SORRY, I didn't know you were HERE
me: there's A LOT you don't KNOW
Lady old hoe mad'am: E-L-Z-O-R...
me: W-H-A-T?
*everyone turns and looks at me*
hoe15: THAT'S Elzora?
hoe4 and hoe7: 😂
hoe5: OMG.... Hi ELZIE, my clients think you are HILARIOUS...we gotta...
hoe14: *interupts* E-Z girl...just ignore her she's a...
hoe11: ELZORA holy fcuk I'm sooooooooo happy to see you
me: I'm going N-A-K-E-D.
hoe4,9,13,20: *gasps*
Lady old mad'am hoe: Elzora... there's a dress code, you HAVE to wear sumthang.
me: F-I-N-E, I can wear my paper bag AND tassels; O-K-A-Y🙄
*everyone laughing*
🤣🤣🤣
tHe PeAnUt GaLlErY: EZ, you can wear what ever the fcuk YOU WANT.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
A guy cracks into a laugh when he passes you by
me: BEDAZZLED.
🤣🤣🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang