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❤️ confessions of a soon to be bedazzled butt bling hoe... ❤️

❤️

WHAT are you DOING.... RIGHT N-O-W

me: practicing my hooked on phonics

🤓

👀 

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

 

 

❤️

Quote of the day:

I would L-O-V-E... THAT!

 

me: I think I would too...

or W-A-I-T

are we EVEN talking about the same thing?

💋

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

Your pussy has top security clearance

me: does that make ME classified?
 

💋

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

A guy who walks in like he owns the place...

him: Sooooooo you are "T-H-E"  unpre-DICK-tability...that I've been  hearing about, eh

me: 👀

him: Been dying to meet you.. LOVE IT, by the way.

me: meh... been called worse, but is THAT what they are calling me now?

🤣

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

IF you WERE "MY" girlfriend...

is THAT what THIS is ABOUT?

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

👀
💋

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️
a BlAsT fRoM tHe PaSt:

sum dude: BABY.... B-A-B-Y

*going through my verbal rolodex*
 

THERE is only ONE person...

me: HOE-LY FCUK man!

him: I thought you were...

me: 👀 

him: BlAh, BLLLLLLLAAAAAAAHHHHHH, blah BLAH BLAH, blAH AND I got married and...

me: whoa. You what?

him: BLAHHHHHHHHH, blah BLAH BlaH bLAAAAAAAAAh AND she has green eyes just like you

me: 🥴


him: you'll love her

me: if you do, so will I

him: but... SHE ISN'T YOU.... 🤐
 

me: UUUUuuuuGGGhhhhhhhhhh I gotta go

😬

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

tHe PeAnUt(s) GaLlErY:

She is ALL eyes.

👀 

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

YOU are a mystery to me...

 

that I WANT to know

me: which piece of THAT puzzle are YOU?

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️
PhilospherHOE:

Is there such a thing as gaslighting without farting


🥸

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

"The RIGHT circumstances"

me: is the emphasis on cirCUMstances... or... right?

What's left- then?

💋

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️
tHe PeAnUt GaLlErY:

that wasn't destiny EZ... it was orchestrated

me: My pussy doesn't know the difference

😲
😳
🤪

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

Are YOU okay...

I dunno, you TELL me....

the only thing I KNOW for a FACT, is that EVEN my fonts are fcuked.

🙄

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️
It's tragic... really.

YOU are such an amazing person, SO beautiful PLUS YOU ARE SANE...

and have a BIG heart.

me:  👀 

I KNOW T-H-A-T, who else NEEDS TOO.

💋

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

I am enchanted by your magic Elzora

me: 👀 

him: YOU are MAGIC.

💋

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️
You should cum with us...

me: I got my hammock and tree straps ready-

WHEN are WE G-O-I-N-G 🤣

 

A YEAR LATER: still waiting 🙄
💋

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️
me: your phone glitches just like mine...

 

HOE-LY FCUK batman, call ghostbusters, I mean Siri.

N-O-O-O,  AI. 

😬

💋

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

YOU could pick ANY guy YOU WANT

me: is THAT so.

I need a 6 pack of husbands...

tHe PeAnUt GaLlErY:

YOU don't even drink beer 🤣

🤓

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

YOU have THE perfect body.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

 

 

 

❤️

rAnDoM mUsInGs:

I have a feeling.... you might be QUITE kinky

me: it's ALWAYS the quiet ones

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

 

❤️

Elzie Cock'er moment:

Have you been eating onions again....

me: they ALL want to kiss me 

😬

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

it's all government'ie and shit up in here

tHe PeAnUt GaLlERy:

🤣🥸

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

You put IT ALL out there...

DO I?

👀

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

The procession of very expensive vehicles doing a drive by....

are they on my good side 🤣

me: 👀

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

YOU are hard to get.

If you are not IN my world, you are NOT apart of it.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

Why are you looking at me like that...

him: just admiring your beauty

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang


 

❤️

ThE hOe ScRipT:

a book called dexter with SUM memory bank....

him: what did you do to the book?

me: I pretended to read it

him: Oh?

me: Yep, I had it upside down the entire time

🤣

him: and then?

me: he wanted me to unbutton my shirt

him: Oh? Where was he?

me: watching....

him: and den?

me: I unbuttoned my jeans...

him: W-H-A-T 🤣

him: should we even be talking about...

me: *interrupts* AND then I started touching myself

him: WHOA....WHERE WERE YOU while you were pretending to read and doing ALL this?

me: AT my location....🤓

him: 🥵

me: he came up with the role play and brought all the props

him: S-T-O-P.

me: YOU A-S-K-E-D.

🎬

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

I love the way you tilt your head slightly... and slowly meet my glance with your eyes

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

QUOTE of the day:

I can SEE what you are SAYING.

 

👀

💋

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

I LOVE "Savage".

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

Elzie....

me: Yes?

him: put your arms down at your side...

me: Okay....

him: close your hands...

me: Okay....

him: Do your knuckles touch the ground?

me: 🤣 NO....

him: I am happy to report YOU are NOT an orangutang 🙊

🐒

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

*an out of context whisper*

I don't think you are listening to me...

me: I don't listen to anything...

BUT I  HEAR EVERYTHING

me: 🎧

💦👇

signed,

Fearless GIRL 

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

ponderings of a beauty bling butt:

I am NEVER reading in the park AGAIN.

🙄🎬

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

philosopher HOE:

I am ready for you.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

JuSt DO yOu:

me: can I honk YOUR horn?

💦

tHe PeAnUt GaLlErY:

N-O-T like THAT.

🙊

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

Word of the day:

S-H-O-C-K-I-N-G

🥸

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

them: was that guy flirting with you

me: nope, just being friendly.

them: I think he was

me: he's like THAT with everyone

them: you should have seen the way he was looking at you

me: you guys sound like the peanut gallery. 

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

I feel like I am married:

I have to schedule my sex life.

😵

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

ThE PeAnUt GaLlErY:

them4: THAT is a beautiful ring...who's the lucky guy...

them3: I didn't know you had a boyfriend

me: I DON'T

ALL of them: 😂 

me: *admiring my sparkle on the wrong finger*

EVERYONE wants what they can't have...

I might be onto sumthang.

😁

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

How do you cent(s) me?

ponderings of a beauty bling butt:

Once science catches up, everything might change

🧹

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

I miss you.

signed,

Mister Potatoe Head

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

What are you going to do later

me: go play arcade games and get drunk

him: 🤣 you're not serious, are you?

me: TOTALLY.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

 

 

 

❤️

Someone tells you to slow down when you're not speeding and they are waving you through.

me:  brainFCUK much?

👀

💋

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

A radio host who doesn't get feet:

Calls them- LegHANDS

😂😂🤣🤣

My ADVICE: don't quit your day job.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

him: I will chase you

me: YOU don't have too, you HAVE my number

🙄

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

YOU are in really great shape...

me: T-H-A-N-K-S

 

I do my kegels.

🦄

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

T-H-E Sheep dogs doing tricks

🤣🙊

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

When you size up a dick and know there's a mathematical equation somewhere on how it SHOULD work

... I mean, fit.

🤓

💦

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

Is your cock loaded??

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

CUM home with me...

MILFYmoment:

YOU don't have to ask me twice magic dick

💦

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

Quote of the day:

"I'm not finished with you...

Y-E-T..."

🙄

 

😳 OR🥵

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

"WE are on the SAME page...."

me: What book are you FCUKing READING...?

tHe PeAnUt GaLlErY:

😂

you MEAN, which chapter?

me: 👀 

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

him: I like to eat!!!!!!

me: I like stuffing my face with a lot of things too...

...like, cocks..... and foooooood

and....

him: 💦

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

Name blunder:

Alzora

me: even my fake name is artificially intelligent

😂

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️"

When a guy is committed to your pussy:

"I can send an e-transfer".

😵

me: I don't DO pussy transfers

 

Cash is golden in pussyville... man!

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

Elzie cock'er advice:

LAUGH for fcuk(s)....sakes

it's the best recipe for life

🤣

ThE PeAnUt GaLlERy:

so is fcuking.

👌

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

 

❤️

HoW nOt To BoOk:

him: Hello Elzora

me: Hello. Please include all info requested in my ad to arrange

him: Bye.  I'm not here for an interview 😆

me: Its called an intro man, IF you'd like me to shake your dick-include it!
him: lol
him: I'm Ed hun

me: For erectile disfunction or ED the sock?
him: The former lol

🙄

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

I can give it...

AND

I can FCUKing take it

💦

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

When people talk about being low volume...

I say lets get real...and keep it real

Your mine during OUR time.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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