❤️ confessions of a soon to be bedazzled butt bling hoe... ❤️
❤️
Have you ever played dungeons and dragons?
me: no
🤔
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Question of the day:
"How do you fix something without breaking all the rules..."
🙃
me: make new ones?
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Almost like he's repeating basic info he's searching for...
....."you have long legs and pretty toes...."
🥸
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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I W-I-L-L FIND HER.
me: I'm NOT hiding.
🙄
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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July 28 3023
Interesting article: an office to combat trafficking of humans
price tag: 4 million.
ThE PeAnUt GaLlERy:
*reading Do GOOD BE good*
Elzora.... if you didn't post THAT, or your confessions...
theNUTS: what a coin-ci-dink.
me: ... you have NO I-D-E-A.
👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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WORD of the DAY:
whack-a-doodle
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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There is no such thing as pussy cancel culture.
You are either IN, or you are NOT.
🫵
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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him: waiting for the gravy train
MaN! YoU GoTtA JuMp iNtO ThE HoTmEss ExPrEsS...
F-I-R-S-T.
😎
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Typing in leolist:
and it cums out leoLOST.
🥴
auto correct gone wrong.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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me: look at the ring this guy wants to barter
hoe5: holy fcuk El'zie, that thing is beautiful
hoe3: are you sure it's REAL
hoe6: are you dumb? Why would you do THAT?
me: do you know what the re-sale- value of a ring like that is?
hoe2: IF you can sell it.
me: exactly.
hoe4: did he ONLY offer the ring?
unnumberedhoe: he should be paying your hourly and tipping you the ring
me: right.
He also understands that IF I can resell it, he's given me more than triple my hourly and paid my rent
ALLtheHOE(s): What did you do?
me: I slept on it.
ALLtheHOE(s): Y-O-U SLEPT on it.
me: this guy has a plan for me
ALLtheHOE(s): they ALWAYS do.
🤔
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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YOU are automatically in the wrong...
you work for a law office.
😯
him: not all of us are bad El'zie.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Someone needs to invent a 'how to come' on voice command.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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a guy thinks your response to him should be a bumper sticker:
"Blah. I'm a cocksucker. Not a drug user".
😵💫
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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That is M-Y job.
🥸
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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theNUT(S): what are you going to do about chaos theory El'zie?
me: N-O-T-H-I-N-G.
Un-necessary chaos is not welcome,
neither is created stress
or
shenanigans
I don't do drama.
First, he lost a friend.
NOW, he has LOST me.
ponderings of a butt bling hoe: auto recall of previous conversation
"I missed you....
I am ashamed...and blahhhhhh blah BLAH BlAH....I LOVE Y-O-U"
🙄
blowing into my world wasn't an extension to pull more bullshit.
REAL life unfriended.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
her: have you seen asshole lately
me: nope.... but somebody ate mine the other day
her: 🤣 not serious.
☑️*how to make someone really uncomfortable,
when they ask you a question that isn't their business
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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When everyone is talking about how hot tan lines are:
*me looking down*
me: my thong lines on my feet are hot but my leggs glow in the dark
😵💫
him: it's a farmers tan...from the angkles down
...or UP?
me: T-H-I-S is NOT a farmers tan
🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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an article reads:
Chinese man swims 10 hours to Taiwan to 'seek freedom'
but surrenders after being stung by a bee.
Is this what universal law considers letting nature take its course?
🥸
Them bee's I tell ya
🐝
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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just give it some time and be patient
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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WTFmoment:
a private number calls. Once picking up, private number 2 calls...if you try and disconnect you are actually picking up a third private.
You think you've disconnected ALL the calls, but still have an open line with one of the privates...
As soon as you end the call... it happens:
again,
and AgAiN
aaaannnnndddd AGAIN
over 45 minutes plus of this...
I played "touch it" by Monifah.
Is this what we call being on P-H-O-N-E BY.
Good song talk.
💦🎹
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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cum Elz...
cum.. N-O-W.
me: mAkE mE.
🙊
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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a guys solution to farmer thong lines:
him: get a spray tan like Donald Trump does
me: his makeup artist should be indicted. He looks like an umpa lumpa
him: and his laywer....that shit was running DOWN H-I-S face
me: I'm keeping the lines man.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Funniest shit I read in a while:
reference of reverse glory holes and trying to confirm whether an ad is real:
"LOL, I don't know but if I gotta suck a cock then it's DEFINITELY a scam."
-ANONposter
🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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him: I love how you touch yourself...
me: like T-H-I-S?
💦
ThE PeAnUt GaLlErY:
.👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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MILFmoment:
D-O-N-'-T threaten me with a good time....
💦
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Greenthumb: don't worry, I didn't put all the seeds in one planter
me: 🤩
him: 'he' did not ruin the only plant...
The pumpkin patch shall prevail.
👌
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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....I feel like this is like the butterfly effect....
me: later, turning on netfluck:
The butterfly Effect, top 3.
😯
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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🫵 YOU are a W-A-L-L-F-L-O-W-E-R
me: am I?
🌺
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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him: wanna cum over and play some cards...
me: I only know how to play Go FcUk
him: 😯
S-H-O-W M-E.
🙃
me: ONLY if you play YOUR cards right.
🦄
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Recent ponderings of a friend gone wrong:
".... I have to figure out HOW to buy Y-O-U a house."
me :👀
him: ... my dad, he married my mom, bought her a house.... gave her children,
he provided..."
me:.👀
silent ponderings of a beauty bling butt:
...doing the checklist in my head:
single, never married...
☑️ spinster
him: ....you are SO independent.
me: B-E-c-a-u-s-e I HAVE to BE.
him: 🐸
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
him: I always see you HERE...
... do you want to go grab a drink??
...I'm from the US.
me: you WANT to go drink ourselves pretty
and dive for genies at the botttom of a bottle?
him: HOW many is it going to take for you to drink ME pretty?
me: a W-H-O-L-E bottle 🤣
theNUT(s): E-Z girl...
ponderings of a philosopherHOE:
not from this jurisDICKtion, checkmark
handsome, checkmark
me: YeS
theNut(s): one night, Elz'ie. That's it.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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the lady handing me my change back...
"She always comes in by herself....."
while maintaining eye balls
👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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WHAT happened to your ass cheek Elzora?
me: I was butt scooting down the river bank and....
well, we all know I don't have much of an ASS on me
them: 🤣
me: 🤷♀️
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
me: I washed my feet and look how dirty they STILL are...
it's like the city is stuck to the bottoms of my feet
him: this city is D-I-R-T-Y
*looks down at my foot*
him: correction... it's filthy.
😵
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Hoe round table talk time:
hoe7: ***** and I broke up 😭
hoe3,1,5: ohhhhhhhh, Sorry to hear
me: good riddance...THAT guy....
ALLofTHEM: *cuts me off in unison* E-L-Z-O-R-A-A-A-A-A....
👀👀👀👀
me: he blew into her world like a FCUKing wrecking ball
... FCUKed all her shit right UP...
LEFT her holding a bag of shit-and it's sure as FCUK not a Prada!
AND
A-L-L of YOU are sorry to hear?? G-E-T REAL.
ALLofTHEM:👀👀👀👀
me: you deserve BETTER!
*silence*
me: 3 W-O-R-D-S
HOT G-I-R-L SUMMER
ALLofThEM: 🤣🤣🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Hoe Q and A:
Q: What's your favorite movie?
A: a few.
Recently, The Lincoln Laywer
Q: That's not a movie...
A: you're right.
them: 🥴
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Tonight, its TEAM T DOT O
theNUT(s): they aren't even playing Elzora
me: I know.
👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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M-E on the phone:
and Blaaaahhh BLAH BlAh BlaH blllllllaaaaaaah
her: how's the secret private admirer?
me: the next time the private(s) call: I'm gonna do a When Harry met Sally moment
...*in a whisper* I heard THEY like T-H-A-T 👌
her: Oh no you wouldn't
me: you know I will...A-N-D
her: E-L-Z-O-R-A.... don't give them any ideas.
💦👇
signed,
I like this ONE. 🎶
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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A question for the cumlords....
am I allowed to miss Dick?
them: which one?
me: 🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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I KNOW your song.
💦🎹
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Mister FCUKing know it all:
Elz, you spelt laywer wrong.
me: I know. So did YOU.
Thanks tips.
💗
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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random musings...
When I think about Y-O-U....
I ...... *fill in the blank*
😯
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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....I don't care about THAT....
I want HER. 🫵
What do YOU know... about her
her: nothing.- I DON'T know her
.👉🥸👈
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
Hoe round table talk:
hoe7: I met someone....
hoe3,1,5,7andME: W-H-A-T
😯
hoe7: blah BlAH... BLAH....
BLAAAAAAAHHHHH blah BLAH BLAHHHH
*all the hoes, silent*
me: It's suppose to be hot girl summer
NOT hot girl ONE D-A-Y...
ALLofTHEM: 🤣🤣🤣🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
pillowTALK:
....I don't care what you do.
the only vetting in this process is in between my legs.
😯
AND my pussy doesn't talk.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
AI gave me the clip notes:
Want a bottle?
yourGF: they buy her a bottle of champagne
you: theres an open red wine in the fridge from I dont know when
*Elzora's simple*
need glasses?
yourGF: her daddy buys her whatever she wants and they haven't even met yet
me: someone gives you a used pair you wear upside down because otherwise they fall off your head
*Elzora is UNIQUE*
need a pantie set:
yourGF: lingerie from agent provocateur
me: granny panties I can tuck my tits into with poka-dots
*Elzora is cost effective*
can you wear stockings:
yourGF: given a pair you want to hang on the wall
me: buy 40 dollar pair for a hh appointment and they no show
*Elzora will go the extra mile*
need a dress:
yourGF: gets taken to holts
me: you brought me a FCUKing MOOOO-MOOOOOOO
*even THEY don't know what to think about THAT*
My GF to me: I love the phone you gave me
🙄
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
❤️
When something got fcuked up with sumthang....
along the way: wrong profile(s) and mixed up info
why are you giving me that face:
her: I think I need more cranberry juice.
me: 🤣
lilcub to momma bear: he's a chemical engineer
lilcub: I don't need a green card, YOU do.
me: maybe if he was 20 years OLDer I'd date him
lilcub: eeeeeewwwwwwwww
me: 🤣🤣🤣🤣 suffering from the ugly laugh
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang