❤️ confessions of a soon to be bedazzled butt bling hoe... ❤️
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I am ethically sourced and all my body parts belong to me.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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I always ensure my energy is on high fcuk vibe.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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special: when there's a million of us... and you choose me 🥰
hoe moment: recontacts you, forgets who you are and everything previously discussed, wants drive by and you haven't even met yet
(my vagina turns into the Sahara Desert and I go on Ice Queen Silent Mode).
😳
😁
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Lets keep the FCUKERY between the sheets gentlemen...
In fcukology, ONLY good behavior is rewarded.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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MILFYmoment:
THAT mouth of yours.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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HOEmoment:
him: YOU made me come
me: sorry... NOT sorry
🤓
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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MILFYmoment: you have perfected the mastery of edging and are SUCH a tease...
me: Yes, FCUKery is an art
him: Love I-T.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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MILFYmoment:
him: Elzora, I get off work at 4pm and I want you sitting on my face
😮
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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HOEmoment:
him: go easy on me...
me: ho ho gadget sloth mode activated.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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confessions of a bling bling butt: I had to fire my butt trainer. His lack of dedication to my cute little ass has left me wanting more.
The solution?
Cruze the bling bling online aisles to fill the gap...
I MEAN, void.
🙈
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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him: You are quite clever Elzora...
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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My guy friend that I haven't seen in forever happens to "run into me"
HOEmoment after all the fake pleasantries:
him: I was on leolist and I saw you...
me: oh?
him: you need to stop being a hoe.
me: oh?
*silence*
me: you mean to tell me you were cruzin Leo just for the fcuk of it and happened to find me? What is this.... a HOE intervention, *John*?
him: well, ugggh....
me: you should be slut- celebrating and not hoe shaming...
him: *silence*
me: good talk
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Quote of the day:
"I booked 1.5 hours because it's your favorite."
ponderings of a bedazzled bling bling butt: Glad you DID.
I so enjoyed you
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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HOEmoment:
when someone describes you as just another good girl gone hoe
😁
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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confessions of a bling bling butt hoe: I believe in irritated at first sight.
Luckily this does not happen often.
DoN't Be ThAt GuY.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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A rose by any other name would smell as sweet:
The HOE name blunder-
Eldora
EZ
Zora
Elvira
El'hora
Abbe
Elsora
Elzara...
Hope
😁
It's a good thing this isn't Romeo and Juliet.
I'm going to start calling ya'll JOHN.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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It's FCUKo'cock and meow meow time!
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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When someone is contacting you while driving...
me: wanna play red light/ green light?
😁
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Quote of the day:
"THIS ones trouble... she's funny."
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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The curiosities of Elzie Cock'er:
Who doesn't soak their beautiful feet in a stock pot?
🤔
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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HOEmoment:
me: YOU have something in your pants I want.
NOW, give it to me. 🤣 🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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When your lover gives self-appointed gold stars just to cum see you and work them off...
me: fcuk you're amazing 🥰
😁
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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MILFYmoment:
my pussy thanks you.
💕🙏
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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HOEmoment:
When you think you are finally making it as a hoe until your reviews get buried in the pages...
and... you reASSes.
Then you start seeing familiar faces and realize relevance is a matters of perspective.
You guys fcuk my world right!! 🥰
Thank you.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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When the motivation for getting your ass in better shape is photoshoots...
me: whatever it TAKES
😁
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
website: www.MissSumThang.ca
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ponderings of a bling bling butt hoe:
Sometimes when I bend over, the sunshine beams out of my ass.
That MUST be why they call me a ray of fcuking sunshine 🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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QUOTE of the day:
"Blessed be my pussy and all things FCUKery"
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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My forecast is clear and juicy.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
website: www.MissSumThang.ca
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ponderings of a fcuk boi:
him: WHO are you and where the fcuk did you come from
me: Can we skip that chapter?🤣🤣
😁
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
website: www.MissSumThang.ca
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ponderings of a bling bling butt:
I see YOU.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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him: can we be friends with benefits...
me: we already ARE!
him: we are?
me: YES! I am your insta hoe...
What MORE could you possibly want?
🤪
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Let me be your stray'cation.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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I always KNOW when you are around.
👀👀😍
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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When it's dinner time and all you want to do is choke on c*ck
the struggle is REAL
🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Quote of the day:
"I appreciate you..."
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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It's always a good day when you wake up to gift cards in...
your INbox.
Thank you Mister J 💕
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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HOEponderings: 🤔
Sometimes it takes me a bit to wrap my pussy around things...
But once I do... I'm ALL in
😮
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Let me be your guiding pussy.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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HOEmoment:
I celebrate Halloween EVERYDAY...
I'm gonna ride you like my broomstick.
I'm HOE'tacular.
❤️😮❤️😬❤️🤓
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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When you lock eyes with someone and you aren't sure if you are suppose to stop, drop and roll or melt into the pavement.
🤔
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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My vagina is cock motivated.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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MILFYmoment:
That 'awe ha' moment when a gent realizes you are good at giving brains and actually HAVE one.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Cinderell'ie moment:
When women reference duet(s) and you automatically think of whirlpool washing machines.
Who says you can't make a hoe a housewife?
🤔
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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I am like a UFO... if it stands for "un-significant fcuking other"
Would you like to explore my area 51?🤓
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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When you are a minimalist in a consumer world...I'm working with what I got.
eat me... 🤓
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Trick or Treat...
Get a text to go to an upscale hotel...NOW NOW
me: in sweat pants
ponderings of a bling bling butt hoe: wondering if I rode my broomstick naked with some bling would fly?
me: Sorry, not dressed appropriately...butt you CAN cum to me 🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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MILFYmoments:
Thought about getting some long pointy dick grabbers done but can't figure out how I'd function or how any lady does?
How do you wipe your ass? Or do your fly up? Or pick your nose? Or put your bling in?
I'm not so sure about this.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Initial contact matters:
When someone contacts me for a HH (that's promo'd) and requests anal but doesn't want to book because all your holes are not a free for all with the price of admission...
Yes, sir: I charge extra for anal and being YMMV, a previous visit is required to ensure we are a good fit. 😮🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Am I on your you-lube playlist yet?
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Secret ponderings of a bling bling hoe:
Those who attest men don't have feelings... got it ALL wrong.
The only time they tell me they love me is when they are FCUKing me 🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Quote of the day:
when sum guy is dick deep and says:
"I like listening to you FCUK"
me: 😬
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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I am still detangling my hair from last night Mister M.
Can't wait to tangle up with you again
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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I feel like a wild animal in a cage when the hen house is booked by everyone else and I can't see you
😒
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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I will become the favorite thing to bury your nuts in.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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ponderings of a hot hoe:
When it's a full moon that will turn eerie red during the total lunar eclipse and ALSO falls on a Tuesday:
What could possibly go wrong?
All the hens are hiding... where's my cocks?
❤️
When you get a random message and KNOW it's him...
and get all juicy just thinking about it.
ONE day your gonna be mine.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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You already walk like Mister Bean and AHS says do the penguin to survive the sidewalks...
anyone have some bubble wrap?
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Quote of the day:
"YOU are good. I thought you were going to fall."
Are we talking about the sidewalks?
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Where the FCUK did this whole "no nut November' trend cum from?
It's a good thing I have perfected edging
🤓
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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HOEmoment: I was watching a 'pretty privilege' video on tik toc and wonder if pussy privilege is a thing too?
I mean, I'm pretty- so what the FCUK happened 😂🤣
🤔
I think I represent the downside of pretty privilege... ain't nothing was easy
BUTT, n-o-w I AM!
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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ponderings of a bedazzled bling bling hoe:
Only I would start touring a new area where there's next no hotel vacancy and find out it's because of a potato conference...
me: a PO-taaaaaaaaaaa- tooooooooeeeeeeeeeee conference?
him: you ARE the HOT potat-HOE, Mrs. Sin Thing
me: Where's all my Mr. Potato Heads?
🤓😮
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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confessions of a bling bling butt hoe:
While on tour, I braved the storm to get something to stuff my face with and ended up kissing the sidewalk.
My shadow even got hurt.
I'd rather be kissing toads instead...
AHS's advice of the penguin walk was an epic fail.
Correction of the above entry: I think I need bubble wrap...AND a helmet...AND elbow pads AND knee pads.
Hook a hot pooootaatHOE up!
🤦♀️😂😒
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Topic of discussion for the next hoe committee round table talk talk:
A new suitor presents you with a pack of lifesavers... and you haven't even given him mouth to mouth yet
Anyone wanna take a guess? A hint... nothing other than booking details were discussed.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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him: hands me a sealed bag, that is full of weed as he is about to leave
stating... "Welcome to BC"
me: ugggghhh what am I suppose to do with this?
A million hoe problems...and now weed is one of them?
Fact: I am not in BC. I am ALSO allergic to weed.
me: quickly goes through every government site on legislation and legalities of what just happened
FACT: below an ounce is totally legal in public and is okay at home...
But still... what am I suppose to do with it 🤔
Re-gift and re-purpose?
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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My New Years Resolution this year:
Shooting balls out of my pussy.
I need to start practicing NOW...who wants me to grip their dick?
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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him: Do you dance?
🤔 Silent ponderings of a hoe: *Have you seen me WALK....*
me: Do I look like a dancer?
him: You could be. I think you look like a Porn Star...actually
me: I'm a FCUKstar, thanks.
😬
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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some days you just want to reach into your phone and touch someone
🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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New name blunder:
El' zee
😍
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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MILFYmoment:
him: I love your look...
👀😮
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Quote of the day:
him: railing you into next week and then blurts out
"You got a new custy..."
I had to google this: custy=customer
😁
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Ponderings of a hot butt bling bling hoe:
When he comes for the personality... is that like getting a participation ribbon?
🤔
He thinks I'm gorgeous ,: stayed for the FCUKery and laughs 👌
win-win
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang