❤️ confessions of a soon to be bedazzled butt bling hoe... ❤️
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QUOTE of the DAY:
You are a fcuking gem
😍
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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RanDOMness at it's finest:
me: I'm gonna start calling the bobble heads...
THE Ya, Ya, Yaaaaaa's
🐸
YES, what.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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TheNUT(s): uh ohhhhhhh Elzora....
NDP might be raising minimum wage, if it' goes up to $17 an hour are you really gonna pull jokes out of your ass instead of rabbits and do stand up?
me: 🐸
ThEpEaNuTgALlERY: she wrote that two years ago in her FAQ. They aren't doing it until next year... 👀
TheNUMBber(s) guy: SumThang doesn't add up. $20 an hour was a living wage 8 years ago...
me: 👀
💋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Poetic irony:
A guy who claims he doesn't want to see you BUT pollutes the public space YOU are in, with his presence...
JUST to see you
👀
What a coin-ci-DINK
🙄
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Philosopher HOE moment:
me:🧐 I often give people enough rope to hang themselves
tHeNUT(s): oh yeah?
me: watching this bitch doing laps around me with the rope I gave her...
...L-I-K-E the INDY 5 fcuking hundred...
ALLofTHEM: O-H 🤣
me: ya, and her ankle bitter duo partner calls me her angel...
GO figure.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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tHe NuT(s):
W-H-O knew.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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QUOTE of the day:
him: you can do your foot stuff and save your pussy for me.
QUOTE of another day:
him: I won't date you because of what you do...
QUOTE of the same day:
him: I'll take you to dinner, but I won't pay you...
...I'll cover everything though
.
QUOTE of a day since:
him: I need to shoot my load on your beautiful feet mistress
QUOTE of a day gone wrong:
him: I have blue balls mistress...
👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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theNUMBer GUY:
Elzora, numbers don't lie. Everything else can.
👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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..."I credit YOU with wanting to live again"
me: 👀
him: I stopped drinking as much and that's because of you
me:🤣 *watching him do the teader.....*
him: well, except today...but YOU make me want to live.
me: 👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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unHOEly moment:
him: BLAH BlaH BLAH blaH.....and then YOU guys buy the calendar
me: Nope. NOT me. I ONLY see over 35.
him: 👀
me: ....hmmmmmm 🧐
I think all you old guys put the pretty kitties in the tree...
and send THEM in to come rescue us.
him: 👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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FUNNY shit:
him: BlaH BLAH BLLLLAAAAAAHHHHHH and the time change
me: whoa....wait- W-H-A-T
him: yeah the clocks went ahead
me: are you fcuking with me right now
him: no
me: you mean they went ahead A-N-D
I missed it.
him:🤣
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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the CUM loads, I mean LORD(s):
E-L-Z-O-R-A
did you tie that guys fcuking balls up like THAT.
🥴
me: 😁 No, he did THAT ALL by him-self.
... and he brought the rope too
A-N-D he calls M-E Mistress.
I don't HAVE to do much and I make 'em cum.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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MILFmoment:
him: I saw your last post...
*mockery of unknowns* she is T-H-i-S...☝️
...SHE is THAT 😢
meh meh MEH'HHHHH.....😩
wwwhhaaaaaaaa waaaaaaa waaaaaaaa 😭
him: I like HER already. 😍
theOTHER(s): we second that.
....theNUT(s): so do we.
the(M)s: we do too.
AllofTHEM: we ALL do.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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confused JOHN moment:
him: Y-O-U are NOT easy.
me: W-H-O........meeeeeeeeeeeee?
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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reTIRED old guy:
you probably have XYZ as clients...
W-E doooooooooo THAT.
ponderings of a beauty bling butt: 🤔 ....dooooooooo due W-H-A-T?
we are the biggest boys club there is.
....our suits weigh 90 pounds.
you COULD do *T-H-I-S* because you already know how to play with hoses.
the YA Yaaaaaa's: *nodding*
me: 👀
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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rAnDoMnEsS butt NOT sooooo M-U-C-H:
him: I fcuked someone TWO days ago
me: *counting back the days in my head....*
HOW was it.....???
him: uuuugggghhhhhhhh .....
ohhhhhhh,
ummmmmmmmm🤷♂️
me: 💡 oooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh R-I-G-H-T
.... it was cunt day.
him: 👀
me: Tell H-I-M Easy peazy said HI.
👋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Word of the Day:
Count Whore.
I mean CUNT W-H-O-R-E
👀
theNUT(s): Elzora, that's TWO words.
me: No shit. What are you.... the NUMBer guy(S)?
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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tHeNUT(s):
Elzora is everything O-K-A-Y
me: what do YOU fcuking think.
🥸
tHePeAnUt GalLeRy: SHE is P-I-S-S-E-D
👀
me: YOU, 🫵
Y-O-U 👉
AND
You.....☝️
YOU have NEVER seen me M-A-D, YET.
🤯
E-N-O-U-G-H.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Playing in the whore house:
INDY500's top picks:
Bridsmaids...
Bad Teacher
The House Bunny
A-N-D
21 Jump Street
playing in the background.
INDY 500 nodding at Elzora.
☝️
S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y
🙄
the Ya YAAAAA's: nodding
the bobble heads: nodding
theNUT(S): 🤣
theCUMlords: awe fcuk
ThEPEAnuT(s): popcorn please
🧐
*replaying a bunch of real life moments*
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Question of the DAY:
Elzora, WHAT do you want me to do.
me: GOOD question.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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him: I'm OG
me: whats THAT, Old Geezer?
him: No. Original gangster
🤣
him: I'm OC
me: what's THAT, Organized Chaos?
him: 👀
me: wait... lemme guess, you are a G ...for Gang(ster)?
him: I prefer Organized Crime.
me: 🤣 O-H. Right.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Y-O-U are a GOOD person
and I WOULD do anything for you.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Everybody hold your Cocks...
my girlfriend doesn't like to FCUK.
so SHE took the bed away...
BUT she brought in a table....
it's E-V-E-N heated so IT can warm your balls up- so she doesn't have too.
N-O-W I need to restructure my ENTIRE business
and I mean EVERYTHING while I find another BED.
I mean LOCATION.
🤯
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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PreHOE era:
I WILL drink my fcuking coffee in this park.
*being harassed endlessly*
I WILL walk down the fcuking street.
*being harassed endlessly*
I WILL take public transit....
*being harassed endlessly
AND BE SAFE...
me: I don't feel safe.
creation of the street harassment bylaw ✔️
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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him: on his way out....
"I T-H-I-N-K we SHOULD have done full...."
ponderings of the beauty bling butt: is this what we S-H-O-U-L-D be calling...
FCUKING the messenger.
🧐
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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him: Did you see it?
me: What?
him: T-H-E article.
me: Which one.
him: They DID I-T. Just like you said....
They cut the head off the fcuking snake....
me: Hold on.
him: you don't remember?
me: Holy SHIT. They sure fcuking did, man. They got him on Human Trafficking too.
him: I thought of you when I read it....and thought you should know, sweetheart. Things have changed.
me: That gang gives the idea of family first a whole different meaning....THAT is so fcuked up
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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theNUT(s): she is NOT suppose to be taking ANYTHING from you.
me: SHE K-N-O-W-S that.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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That guy is NOT trying to pin my pussy against the wall
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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him: I'm a ladies man.
me: I'm a girls girl and guys love ME...
and MY pussy.
😍
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang
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Curious oddities in the day and the life of Elzora:
You fascinate me.
me: uh oh.
The Ya YAAAAAaaaaaa's: YA.
me: atleast we agree on sumthang.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang