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❤️ confessions of a soon to be bedazzled butt bling hoe... ❤️

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QUOTE of the DAY:

You are a fcuking gem

😍

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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RanDOMness at it's finest:

me: I'm gonna start calling the bobble heads...

 

THE Ya, Ya, Yaaaaaa's

🐸

 

YES, what.
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

 

 

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TheNUT(s): uh ohhhhhhh Elzora....

NDP might be raising minimum wage, if it' goes up to $17 an hour are you really gonna pull jokes out of your ass instead of rabbits and do stand up?

me: 🐸

ThEpEaNuTgALlERY: she wrote that two years ago in her FAQ. They aren't doing it until next year... 👀

TheNUMBber(s) guy: SumThang doesn't add up. $20 an hour was a living wage 8 years ago...

me: 👀
💋

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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Poetic irony:

A guy who claims he doesn't want to see you BUT pollutes the public space YOU are in, with his presence...

JUST to see you

👀

What a coin-ci-DINK

🙄

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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Philosopher HOE moment:

me:🧐 I often give people enough rope to hang themselves

tHeNUT(s): oh yeah?

me: watching this bitch doing laps around me with the rope I gave her...

...L-I-K-E the INDY 5 fcuking hundred...

ALLofTHEM:  O-H 🤣

me: ya, and her ankle bitter duo partner calls me her angel...

GO figure.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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tHe NuT(s):

W-H-O knew.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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QUOTE of the day:

him: you can do your foot stuff and save your pussy for me.

QUOTE of another day:

him: I won't date you because of what you do...

QUOTE of the same day:

him: I'll take you to dinner, but I won't pay you...

...I'll cover everything though

.

QUOTE of a day since:

him: I need to shoot my load on your beautiful feet mistress
 

QUOTE of a day gone wrong:

him: I have blue balls mistress...

👀

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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theNUMBer GUY:

Elzora, numbers don't lie. Everything else can.

👀

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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..."I credit YOU with wanting to live again"

me: 👀

him: I stopped drinking as much and that's because of you

me:🤣 *watching him do the teader.....*

him: well,  except today...but YOU make me want to live.

me: 👀 

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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unHOEly moment:

him: BLAH BlaH BLAH blaH.....and then YOU guys buy the calendar

me: Nope. NOT me. I ONLY see over 35.

him: 👀

me: ....hmmmmmm 🧐

I think all you old guys put the pretty kitties in the tree...

and send THEM in to come rescue us.

him: 👀

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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FUNNY shit:

him: BlaH BLAH BLLLLAAAAAAHHHHHH and the time change

me: whoa....wait- W-H-A-T

him: yeah the clocks went ahead

me: are you fcuking with me right now

him: no

me: you mean they went ahead A-N-D

I missed it.

him:🤣

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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the CUM loads, I mean LORD(s):

E-L-Z-O-R-A

did you tie that guys fcuking balls up like THAT.

🥴

me: 😁 No, he did THAT ALL by him-self.

... and he brought the rope too

A-N-D he calls M-E Mistress.

I don't HAVE to do much and I make 'em cum.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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MILFmoment:

him: I saw your last post...

*mockery of unknowns* she is T-H-i-S...☝️

...SHE is THAT 😢

meh meh MEH'HHHHH.....😩

wwwhhaaaaaaaa waaaaaaa waaaaaaaa 😭

him: I like HER already. 😍

theOTHER(s): we second that.

....theNUT(s): so do we.

the(M)s: we do too.

AllofTHEM: we ALL do.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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confused JOHN moment:

him: Y-O-U are NOT easy.

me: W-H-O........meeeeeeeeeeeee?

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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reTIRED old guy:

you probably have XYZ as clients...

W-E doooooooooo THAT.

ponderings of a beauty bling butt: 🤔 ....dooooooooo due W-H-A-T?

we are the biggest boys club there is.

....our suits weigh 90 pounds.

you COULD do *T-H-I-S* because you already know how to play with hoses.

the YA Yaaaaaa's:  *nodding*

me: 👀

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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rAnDoMnEsS butt NOT sooooo M-U-C-H:

him: I fcuked someone TWO days ago

me: *counting back the days in my head....*

HOW was it.....???

him: uuuugggghhhhhhhh ..... 

ohhhhhhh,

ummmmmmmmm🤷‍♂️

me: 💡 oooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh R-I-G-H-T

.... it was cunt day.

him: 👀

me: Tell H-I-M  Easy peazy said HI.

👋
entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

Word of the Day:

Count Whore.

I mean CUNT W-H-O-R-E

👀

theNUT(s): Elzora, that's TWO words.

me: No shit. What are you.... the NUMBer guy(S)?

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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tHeNUT(s):

Elzora is everything O-K-A-Y

me: what do YOU fcuking think.

🥸

tHePeAnUt GalLeRy: SHE is P-I-S-S-E-D

👀

me: YOU, 🫵

Y-O-U 👉

AND

You.....☝️

YOU have NEVER seen me M-A-D, YET.

🤯

E-N-O-U-G-H.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

❤️

Playing in the whore house:

INDY500's top picks:

Bridsmaids...

Bad Teacher

The House Bunny

A-N-D

21 Jump Street

playing in the background.

INDY 500 nodding at Elzora.

☝️

S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y

🙄

the Ya YAAAAA's: nodding

the bobble heads: nodding

theNUT(S): 🤣

theCUMlords: awe fcuk

ThEPEAnuT(s): popcorn please

🧐

*replaying a bunch of real life moments*

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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Question of the DAY:

Elzora, WHAT do you want me to do.

me: GOOD question.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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him: I'm OG

me: whats THAT, Old Geezer?

him: No. Original gangster

🤣

him: I'm OC

me: what's THAT, Organized Chaos?

him: 👀

me: wait... lemme guess, you are a G ...for Gang(ster)?

him: I prefer Organized Crime.

me: 🤣 O-H. Right.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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Y-O-U are a GOOD person

and I WOULD do anything for you.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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Everybody hold your Cocks...

my girlfriend doesn't like to FCUK.

so SHE took the bed away...

BUT she brought in a table....

it's E-V-E-N heated so IT can warm your balls up- so she doesn't have too.

N-O-W I need to restructure my ENTIRE business

and I mean EVERYTHING while I find another BED.

I mean LOCATION. 

🤯

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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PreHOE era:

I WILL drink my fcuking coffee in this park.

*being harassed endlessly*

I WILL walk down the fcuking street.

*being harassed endlessly*

I WILL take public transit....

*being harassed endlessly

AND BE SAFE...

me: I don't feel safe.

creation of the street harassment bylaw ✔️

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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him: on his way out....

"I T-H-I-N-K we SHOULD have done full...."

ponderings of the beauty bling butt: is this what we S-H-O-U-L-D be calling...

FCUKING the messenger.

🧐

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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him: Did you see it?

me: What?

him: T-H-E article.

me: Which one.

him: They DID  I-T. Just like you said....

They cut the head off the fcuking snake....

me: Hold on.

him: you don't remember?

me: Holy SHIT. They sure fcuking did, man. They got him on Human Trafficking too.

him: I thought of you when I read it....and thought you should know, sweetheart. Things have changed.

me: That gang gives the idea of family first a whole different meaning....THAT is so fcuked up

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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theNUT(s): she is NOT suppose to be taking ANYTHING from you.

me: SHE K-N-O-W-S that.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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That guy is NOT trying to pin my pussy against the wall

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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him: I'm a ladies man.

me: I'm a girls girl and guys love ME...

and MY pussy.

😍

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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Curious oddities in the day and the life of Elzora:

You fascinate me.

me: uh oh.

The Ya YAAAAAaaaaaa's: YA.

me: atleast we agree on sumthang.

entry courtesy of: @MissSumThang

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